Weekends.

Weekends used to be filled with no alarms, shopping for hours and dinner at new restaurants.  I
 loved them, I craved them, I savored them.

Weekends have an alarm now.  A human alarm. 
She tends to think 5:30am is a real nice round number.  I cringe a little when I hear that alert little cry, but my spirit soars when I walk in and our eyes meet. 

Her arms start pumping, her legs start kicking, her smile lights up the room and her little voice squeals with joyful delight. 
She is ready. 
Ready to face the big world and ready to get smothered in kisses.

The Weekend was a good one.
Filled with smiles, joy and fun. 

I love these new weekends.....and crave them....and savor them. 
They're different, but they're also better. 
They're meaningful and I am grateful for the changes they've inspired. 
We're going to focus on enjoying the 'in-between' days until we meet the weekend again.

Tell 'em.

I Love You.

It's so easy to share with a baby how you feel about them. 
They don't judge. 
They don't get uncomfortable when you tell them you love them 12 times in a row.  
You don't have to wonder if they feel the same way. 
You don't care.

You just tell 'em.  You would shout it from the roof-top....heck, you'd shout it from the top of the biggest mountain you could find. 
You'd tell everyone in the world how much you love this little one.

The world is funny that way. 
People get uncomfortable telling others how they feel. 
Sharing their feelings.  "Spilling their guts" without any reservations.  Professing their love, or even their intense gratitude, for another, without concern they may not hear it back is not so comfy.

I have work to do in this department too.
I do know, though, that we all could open our hearts up a little more.  Share a little more.  Be ok with making another feel a little uncomfortable, when your intent is to share a little of your heart.

Last week, when Dan and I were at Mayo meeting with Dan's Neurosurgeon, I wanted to share my heart with him.  He isn't exactly Mr. Touchy-feely.  In fact, many people told us not to expect eye contact, much less a smile. 
He was described as "arrogant, egotistical and no-bedside-manner". 
His reputation may have been accurate......but, I still felt love for this man.  We weren't looking a friend...we were looking for the most skilled neurosurgeon that we could find in this big world. 
He lived up to this reputation as well.

I decided to write a him a letter. 

I told him he may not remember every patient he meets.

I told him he may not remember us.

I also told him we will always remember him.

We met him the day before we welcomed our first daughter to this world. 

We met him when we were nervous, uncertain and overwhelmed.

We met him when we wondered what the future would hold.

He made an impact to Dan's life....to our life.

I wanted him to know how I felt from my heart.  He may have been uncomfortable by the letter....after all, I'm not exactly a brief writer and I couldn't just state, "Thank you--nice job".  I had to bring my whole heart to my message. 

I'm grateful I did.

Babies are ready to receive.
Be ready to receive.  Ready to give. 
Ready to live without a regret that you didn't share.

Be willing to be a little uncomfortable.
You'll be grateful that you did.

Working Mom.

I've been a daughter and a sister since the day I was born.
A friend since I met my first best friend, Tiffany, when I was just 5 years old.
Been an employee since I filled out my first W2 when I started at "Sunrise Sunset Daycare" at the ripe old age of 14.
I've been a happily married wife since 2002.
Have loved being an aunt since Brooke came into this world just 5 years ago.

Been honored to be a Mom since November 2, 2011.

I've realized you rarely give up something to become something else. 
If you want a full life, you add to it.....with another role, another opportunity to make your life richer, fuller, more full of life.

Your "Life Resume" expands. 

Your experience grows....and you grow.
You don't stop being a daughter in order to be a friend.  You add this new role to become a better, stronger, more engaging human being.

This week, I added "Working Mom" to my experience.

Everyone said I'd cry on that first day. 

Many friends encouraged me to have Dan do "drop-off" on her first day of daycare.  (His response, "Nice.  So, you're going to make me do it by myself instead?  How about if we do it together?".....someone has become skilled at compromising.)

I was determined not to cry.

But, I couldn't even manage to get of the garage. 
No, not because I was crying.

Because I ran into the garage.

I couldn't even get out of the garage before my first official day as a "Working Mom" started.
I really did think I was going to cry as I looked at the dented garage door that Dan had to manually shut and as I took a peek at my bruised rooftop of my car. 
All I could think to do was laugh. 

I laughed....hard. 
And then I went to Caribou Coffee. 
Nothing cures a little jolt to your day like a skinny latte.

Life is all about moving, evolving, learning and growing and I was up to bat with a new role, a new perspective, a new life experience. 

I'm more than just a mom or an employee or a daughter or a sister.  I can't give up one role in order to start another.  Life is about finding ways to give, learn, share and grow with all of those roles intertwined together, in a beautiful, crazy, fun and oftentimes funny web. 

One week down.
I'll get better at this working-mom stuff.  I'll learn, grow and change.  In the meantime, we're grateful for my Dad's skill.  Thanks, Dad, for lending us your handyman work this weekend. 
Our garage is grateful too.

More to Love

We have a new Valentine in the house.

Three months after Dan and I met....back in 1997....Valentines Day was upon us.  I had those little butterflies in my stomach, wondering if this new crush would do anything, well, "romantic" for this day of love. 

When I arrived back to 382 Snarr Hall that festive February day, a massive balloon with a teddy bear inside of the balloon was waiting for me. 

Creative.  Thoughtful.  Unique. 

That bear is still with us.

 

That wasn't it, though. 

There was also a homemade cake....with pink frosting.  He had left his dorm room, traveled to his buddy's house and baked me a cake.  He knew how to woo a girl over. 

He had me at the Betty Crocker pink frosting. 

 

When I walked in the door tonight, there were cookies waiting tonight...with fluffy pink frosting.
There wasn't a teddy bear inside a balloon, but there were 2 cards.
One said, "Mommy"; the other said, "Princie".  He hasn't lost his touch.
He's still wooing.

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Speaking of pink, this plump bundle is digging the Betty Crocker pink frosting too. 

                        

I looked at this picture and decided it must be the camera angle. 
Maybe its how she's sitting. 
Maybe its because her arm is up and it makes her look a little "thick".

More to love.......More to love!

Happy Valentines Day!

A "Family"

For the past 8 years, it was just the two of us  We never referred to the two of us as, "Our Family"...it felt too formal or even unnecessary for just the two of us. 

Technically, of course we were a family, but when we talked about family, we meant our parents, our siblings, our grandparents...enough people to fill the dining room table for a holiday meal.  Enough people to clink all the glasses together for a "Cheers" or enough to have "placecards" at each spot. 

When Maya was born, our nurse wrote on the dry-erase board that was hanging in our room.  It didn't seem like a big deal until Dan was taking a video as we were getting ready to take Maya home.  As he scanned the room with the video camera, he stopped at the board. 





He was talking on the video about taking Maya home and that he was not planning to go over 5 miles/hour, as he needed to keep this little girl safe.  As he moved the camera to the board, he tried to say, "Our first 'signature'....as a family", but he stopped before he could say "as a family".

He got choked up.

The video gets very quiet and then fades away.
Dan told me about it later when I watched the video. 
It was the first time he realized that we were really a family.

We realized we'd entered a new phase of our lives. 
We were ready to say, "Our family is going to the mall" or "Our family is busy on Sunday" or "Our family loves going to the Dairy Queen!" 

We felt like a family.

Yesterday, the three of us were at the Mayo Clinic for a follow-up visit for Dan. It is amazing to think that almost 3 months ago, we were in that same clinic for Dan's surgery.



As the "3 of us"...our family....walked around yesterday, we talked about how it felt to be at the Mayo Clinic.  Rarely do you see people there alone.  They are usually surrounded with their family.  We saw a young man in the neurology department yesterday from Washington....with his Mom.  We saw a husband from Iowa...with his wife.  We saw a Mom who was seeing her Dr. yesterday....with her husband, her 13 year old son and her 4 year old son.  Each of these families was going through something in which they needed a rally cry...a support system...a cheering squad...a family. 

We're lucky.  We're fortunate.  We're intensely grateful.
For each other, for our health, for good laughs yesterday, for our joyful life...and for an addition that makes our family feel complete.

Google: "Fun Restaurant......with kids"

I had to do a different google search this past weekend. 

I've scoured the Internet in the past for the "best picks" for most romantic or best for groups or even the best suburban restaurant.  This time, I was looking for "best pick for going out with kids".  Luckily, McDonalds wasn't a search result, despite the famous playland and happy meal toys.

I was so excited to reserve a "Zashiki Room"......also known in my world as one of those really cool little rooms that you sit on little pillows with little seat backs by a little table and have really yummy sushi.  I was in love with it before we even arrived.

We ate great sushi, celebrated Dan's birthday and introduced Brooke and Jada to edamame (they are not fans yet)!  Nice job, Google....we had a fabulous time!

Goodbye Weeks, Hello Months!

When I was pregnant, everyone would ask how far along I was in my pregnancy.  I'd never quoted any period of my life in "weeks" before.  It seemed a little odd at first, or maybe just awkward.  After awhile, though, it became second nature and I would proudly state what milestone week I had accomplished.  Dan and I had a blast trying to seek out new and creative ways to capture these "weeks", starting this summer when we were in a train station in Europe.....ironically, on train car #15.  From there, each week became an adventure to see how we could capture the moment.

For the past 12 weeks, its still the most popular question, but now in reference to the week milestone Maya achieved.  This week, we hit a tipping point....the 12 week mark.....in my world, that calls for a celebration.  We're dropping the weeks and we've graduated to months.
We're talking 3 months, baby!

3 months of having a 3rd person living in our house.  3 months of always having a passenger in the backseat.  3 months of not once sleeping from 10pm to 8am.  3 months of laughter, joy and fun with this new human being. 

Tonight, it was time to celebrate those 3 months.

(Don't worry.....we did not eat these cute little pink cupcakes without slathering a ton of frosting on them. 

I took the easy route and bought a can of frosting. 

I opened it up.....and it was colored bright green...I admit, the can had a bright red 89 cent clearance tag on it. 

Clearly, Target was ready to be done with Christmas. 

I tried to put red food coloring in to go with the pink theme for her 3 month milestone. 

Bad idea.  They were really ugly.  And really, really delicious.)

Regardless, we celebrated today. 

Dan and I sat down tonight and talked about the first 3 months of her life.  We talked about what has surprised us, what we've loved and what we've learned.  We laughed that it was like a "performance review" at work when you are on probation for the first 3 months of being a new employee......no worries, she passed.  We want to keep her.  Actually, she passed with flying colors.  We love her like crazy.

We laughed tonight.....a ton.  We laughed at how much fun it has been and how crazy it has been.  We laughed at how naive we were in the beginning and how we feel like we get it "just a little more" now! 

We laughed at the fact that Dan had never changed a diaper in his life.....and now he's a diaper changing champ.  He could enter a contest.

We both agree that we didn't know how heavy a baby is when they fall asleep in your arms....and how sweet that moment is.

We're amazed that we haven't slept through the night since November 1st, 2011.

We reminisced on the fact that she's such a happy baby....she only screamed at the beginning because we starved her....a little bit....actually kind of a lot, but we didn't know it, and we hope Maya wipes that one clean from the memory bank!

Speaking of celebrating, we also celebrated Dan turning 35 (or 1,820 weeks if you are into measuring things in weeks).  It was a different kind of celebration.  Not too crazy.  We were at home, with pizza and Dan's parents.  Grandpa Gary and Grandma Pat spent time kissing, feeding, hugging and loving her. 

Dan said it was a perfect birthday. 

Farewell, 12 weeks.....hello 3 months!

You're a "Dad".

This past June, I wrote Dan a letter. 

It was Father's Day and I thought a letter and a book about this new adventure would be most fitting to celebrate a holiday that he had only purchased gifts for someone else. 

His Dad.  

I wanted him to know how I felt about this journey with him. I wanted him to know now, as his next Fathers Day would be celebrated in an even bigger way. 

Here was the letter I wrote to him.....

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You’re going to be a good one.

A Dad.

That’s going to be you.

Yep, no longer are you going to be simply defined by “son, friend, nephew, son-in-law or husband”.  You’re going to have a little person looking at you, believing you know everything...that you know why the sky is blue, that you know why people are mean sometimes and that you know how many exact miles the moon is away from our house.

You’ll all of the sudden know how to change the dirtiest of diapers, know how to make a fall off of a bike feel like “its no big deal” and know how to make the slowest runner feel like they are still a rockstar (just remember....they might be blessed with my unathletic abilities).

You’re entering a world of words, terms and brands that just a few months ago were so foreign...gone are the days of only knowing Abercrombie and Fitch and Banana Republic....you’ll be an expert on whether a Peg Perego stroller is more safe than the Baby Jogger...and whether Pampers or Huggies is better at holding in 3 pounds of pee.  You’re going to know how to clip fingernails that are thinner than a piece of paper and how to rock a baby to sleep so they are SURE to sleep through the night.  You’re going to be asking the other dads for advice....not necessarily whether they would recommend a Summit Pale Ale or the Sunset Wheat Beer, but where they got their new Dad backpack that holds 2 more bottles than yours.

But.....through all of that, you’re going to be such a great Dad because you love.

You will continue to love me and make room in your heart to love our little. 

You’ll wear your heart on the outside of your body even more than you ever have before.
You’ll still have cocktails.
You’ll still have a clean car.
You’ll even probably shop at Abercrombie and Fitch still.  (well, maybe while pushing a stroller)
You’ll still know the best ways to make me laugh.
You’ll still give good hugs.
You’ll still have guy weekends and golf afternoons.
You’ll just be a better one....an even better person.

Being a Dad won’t be the only thing that will define you.

But, I know it will make you a better person...a better human being in this big world....a stronger and more caring and more genuinely loving person than you already are today. 

Our journey is continuing......and I am SO glad that you’re going to be a Dad to this baby......I chose a great one.

Happy Fathers Day to you....the dad-to-be.

Love,

Julie

June 2011

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I also scoured the bookstores to find a book for him that wasn't titled, "What to Expect when you're Expecting".  

Today is your 35th Birthday, my love.  Happy Birthday to YOU!

Tomorrow will officially mark 3 months of you being called a "Dad".

One day, you will have streamers hanging from the chandelier, a cake with finger lick marks draped through the top and presents that have more tape plastered on them than is left on the roll. 

Cheers to another amazing year of you-being-you. 
Hugs and Kisses from me......and drooly lip smooches from your daughter.
We love you.